Monday, December 3, 2007

RWP #3

Okay, I really wrote this response to readwritepoem in minutes inspired by Linda's superior piece. I relate to her day. I'm embarrassed that this might be beyond emulating but I like the sounds of the piece, and when I have time, I might revisit it to make a honest poem of it. Please be kind, I'm an artist. I'm sensitive.

I tumbled over the side and uneasily tilt upwards
almost always just shy of toppling back over.
Brush my teeth while thinking of new posts
and e-mails and those thank-you notes
I haven’t written yet.
I toggle all day until I arrive home and yeah-
toggle all night till I tumble over sideways,
almost face downward, curl my feet round
each other and toggle in my head
till finally I fall asleep.


aka Danny Wise said...

Sounds like the perfect day.
I love your use of the word toggle, especially when you say 'and toggle in my head.'

Linda said...

Love the cryptic beginning! I've reread the whole poem several times and really like all the images I get!

P.S. Thanks for all the nice words about my poem!

Dave said...

Wait... artists are supposed to be sensitive? Darn! I'll never fit in!

Enjoyed this, though.

Mariacristina said...

The narrator reminds me of myself - always thinking about writing. I like how "toggle" changes in meaning as the poem progresses.

susan said...

Hi Dave,

It's the one line of Erykah Badu that I know. And it makes me laugh everytime I think about it.

Thanks to all for taking time to read and comment.

paisley said...

very pleasant read... and you did it wonderfully!!!!

...eatsbugs said...

There is no certainty of landing in this piece until that last line. I like that.

Also, the word "toggle" makes me think you are trying to decide between two things. Is that right?

Very nice. I hope your "ambiguous" feelings about writing go away, cause I'd like to see more.

susan said...

Hi eb,

Well, I love to talk so at the very least, you're always welcome to listen to my incessant brain chatter that I'm willing to share in this space. Glad you came by.