Tuesday, January 8, 2008

haiku

Here’s my contribution to one deep’s breath prompt.


I want the moon to
fall from my mouth wide
her dust on my cheeks

18 comments:

Sandy Carlson said...

Susan,
I love this idea. It's a wonderful turn on the ancient image of swallowing the moon. God bless.
Writing in Faith

January said...

That's lovely. Didn't know where it was going but I liked where I ended up.

Plain Foolish said...

The image here is so strong, especially the moondust...

tumblewords said...

Clever use of moon dust! Nice 'ku...

get zapped said...

So sensuous and full!

lissa said...

very simple. nicely written.

mariacristina said...

What a great image! The moon falling from my mouth... Wow! On that note, time for sleep. Maybe I'll have a cool dream.

qualcosa di bello said...

like a fairy tale!

Sandy said...

Wonderful haiku, Susan. Very original wording...excellent!

With your permission I would like to link to your blog...would you please let me know if it is alright with you the next time you visit my blog?

S

watermaid said...

I didn't know anything about the ancient image of swallowing the moon. Compelling!

Quiet Paths said...

i admire that last line. Yes, full of the senses...

Roswila said...

Oooh, dream-like. I really like it.

AnnieElf said...

Fascinating image. I am unfamiliar with the ancient idea of swallowing the moon. I'm googling to learn more.

Sherry said...

This is so touching and reflective.

Cloudscome said...

Beautiful!

Secret Agent Mama said...

Great work here. Very original and unique!

Loudlife said...

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing it.

Laurie

susan said...

Thank you all. The work is influenced by the novel Sassafras, cypress & Indigo by Ntozake Shange, which I recently read for my book club. If you enjoy magical realism, mysticism and figurative language or appreciate women's literature I recommend this work.