The other day, I went to the doctor. I swear I resent the problems women experience with our reproductive system. I’m pissed off about it. My doctor thinks I might have fibroids. I’m pretty sure I do. I vaguely remember an examination years ago but at the time, I wasn’t having serious problems so I did what I typically do, I did nothing. I’m scheduled for an ultrasound in the coming weeks. I realize fibroids don’t have to be an issue, but I confess I think they might really be an issue for me (I’ve been at the doctor’s increasing more often for a variety of issues in the past year), and without going into my medical history deeper, I’ll simply say this current issue has me thinking about my health and mortality- again.
I’ve been reading. My only writing has been short reviews about what I’m reading. I’m participating in a summer reading program at my local library. I’m hoping to win a gift card so I can purchase more books for our library. I also set a goal to read fifty books this year. I hit my goal first week of June. I’m concurrently participating in a book tag challenge at Play Book Tag. I’m on my twelfth book, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal and while I’m enjoying it, I can’t plow through it as I’d like.
Back to my writing, my fella told me not too long ago that I should write like I talk. I could write pages on the hang-ups I grew up with about how I talk and write and the whole language, culture thing and how as an adult I’ve been privately wrestling with how I write and talk. Instead, I’ll simply say, I been thinking long and hard about what he said and I confess I’m not sure if I can write like I talk and be okay with it. Sounds silly? What does that mean? I’m so accustomed to slightly altering my speech based on place and company that I’m not sure what my authentic voice is. And if I don’t know that, how do I write it? Now, I realize I do have a voice and I recognize patterns and a style to my writing, but how do I do write in my authentic voice consistently? His suggestion has had me in a tailspin about how I see myself as a writer, speaker.
I’m going to think more on what he said. I’m feelin’ a full-blown essay comin' in the future from exploring this so I need to think, jot notes, let it all set a spell and then bring it to the page. In the meantime, thank you all (and you know who you are) for patiently and kindly supporting me. Thinking of you my fellow peers and friends helps me to keep coming back to the keyboard. You help me not ever seriously consider abandoning this writing life.