Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Confession Tuesday

At times I wonder how others perceive me (not that that prevents me from plowing ahead with any particular behavior or argument). Am I perceived as a pot-stirrer (I am), a critic (I am), a procrastinator (guilty), disorganized (my entire life), a rebel (I'd like to think with a cause), a wannabe writer and poet (given any day, I try). These are pretty obvious flaws or personality traits, but does anyone suspect I don't like crowds despite my gregarious nature? Anyone know that I don't always want to talk; that I like to listen? Would anyone know that if you commented on how much I talked, you'd pierce a childhood hurt that's never really healed?

I'm rambling today because I'm feeling out of sorts. Next month marks a milestone for me that I'm not likely to go into detail about, but every year about two weeks prior to my anniversary, I get exceptionally weirded out. I have dreams, get reflective and anxious.

Anyone else have anniversaries that weird them out and the foreshadowing comes like clockwork?

Want to join us in the confessional? Find others at Poet Mom's.

11 comments:

Deb said...

It's a funny place we find ourselves. Outwardly gregarious and chatty, but really wanting to sit back and listen to some interesting conversation. I get that. :-)

Yeah. Anniversaries come rolling in like thunder under the radar for me. I feel them before I realize, oh, that's what this is about. I don't anticipate them, but they anticipate me.

Hope yours is a strong marker that listens to your boundary-making.

susan said...

Thanks, Deb. It's little wonder you get me.

Lenore said...

yeah...my mother died on October 27th so that is always a hard day for me.

Liza said...

yeah.. I have a of my own. It really bugs me every single year =/

January said...

I don't, but given the year I'm having I can't make any guarantees anymore about the future. What's the phrase, "no day is promised?"

Hugs to you. You'll get through it with strength and grace.

Claudia said...

Most major holidays, with the exception maybe of my daughter's birthday and Halloween, bring on a strange feeling of dread for me. My extended family doesn't always get along and I always seem to regret leaving the comfort/safety of my home to enter into someone else's drama! But one thing that encourages me is to remember that I'll get through it, just like I did last year, and you'll get through this milestone/anniversary too....

susan said...

January, sad to hear you're having a rough time. Hold on.

Lenore, I've lost a lot of people I've loved but not my parents and the reality of it scares me.

Thank you all for chiming in.

christine said...

Yes, but I never say what it is. I do have secrets, and ever since the secret came about, i prefer to listen too.

I tell the secret bit by bit through my poems.

missinpiece said...

Yes, many anniversaries and occasions freak me out... being adopted, I've never felt comfortable on my birthday, except as a child. In fact, most family occasions that involve family outside my husband and kids give me a great deal of anxiety.

I hope your blues don't last too long....

susan said...

Hi Miss,
They'll pass. I appreciate you coming by. Did you check out my friends' site about adoption?

missinpiece said...

yes! thanks...