Wednesday, January 30, 2008

haiku

Frigid cotton crowns
Branches brush against the sky
Winter wonder globes



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16 comments:

paisley said...

i love snow globes... what a brilliant analogy!!!!

spacedlaw said...

No shaking!
Great image.

Sandy Carlson said...

It is amazing how close the vast blue sky seems in the light of winter. Beautiful, Susan. Thanks.

lissa said...

winter encase in a snow globe - wonderful image

UL said...

'winter wonder globes'...liked that much

LittleWing said...

i loved the line...branches brush against the sky....

Linda Jacobs said...

Thanks for reading my villanelle and commenting about "ho." I have to agree with you. This is why I really hate rhyming; it seems like I'll use any word just to get it to rhyme. It was out of character.

You are so smart to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter! I'd say that is one of the most important aspects of parenting.

Nancy Bea Miller said...

Mmm, nice imagery.

Crafty Green Poet said...

excellent fresh imagery!

scribblingsandsketches said...

Seems to capture it perfectly, nice and crunchy, too.

Hi by the way :) I'm Ario and am in your new poetswhoblog circle thingy.

You have some great pieces on here. I look forward to reading more.

mariacristina said...

I live in the South, where trees and plants don't always lose their leaves. When I read your haiku, I imagine dried out cotton orbs, with withered stems, and measley patches of snow. Winter has its own stark beauty, but it's not the finest time of year where I live.

I'd love to see winter wonder globes!

Pearl said...

you want 5-7-5 convention but do you need "against"do you think cold instead of frigid would be too much C?

Winter wonder globes
nice close to the poem.

susan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
susan said...

Hi Pearl,

I chose "frigid" because it more accurately conveys something stronger and different than cold connotes. I used "against" not solely for count but meaning. I wanted to convey friction. It is easy to get stuck on 5-7-5. Please let me know if my rationale doesn't work.

I appreciate you taking time to read and comment.

Anna said...

I like the first two lines. And I think that some more lines would be good. The term "winter wonder" made me think of winter wonderland in an amusement park and I'm not sure if that is what you intended!

qualcosa di bello said...

you've captured the softness & child-like joy in snow so beautifully!