So I have a new job and despite trying to mentally prepare for it and trying to anticipate the changes to my routines, my transition still threw me for a loop. I work for the county now. I like the people I work with and I'm happy about the change.
No earth shattering confessions but here are a few. That first week, every night when I came home from work, I felt good about being at a new place;I also felt exhausted and overwhelmed by the information and changes to my daily routine. The last thing I wanted to do was blog or read anyone else's blog.
By the end of that week, I had gotten caught in a snowstorm. I ride the bus. It was two and half hours late. Cold and panicky (I kept stepping outside to look through the flurries for the bus that wasn't coming) when I saw the bus approaching in the miserable blizzard, I dashed out the restaurant where I had been and a took a serious fall. The following day, I was seven minutes late and my manager reminded me of the attendance policy. Then I lost my badge a few days later. I had a panic attack while trying to sleep one night and feared I was going to be fired, losing the job that I had applied for, had been waiting for for almost six months.
New week. My shoulder is better. I leave an additional hour earlier. I got my badge replaced and last night, one of my co-workers bought me dinner. I work with a good group of people. I'm still adjusting to a new schedule and learning my job but I'm feeling less anxious and beginning to relax, believing that I will do just fine.
I confess that even when I choose change, I want to deny how easily I can be overwhelmed by it; that I'm more emotional than rational- something I don't I want to admit to myself, and despite my successes and skills, I doubt myself more than I wish I did. Well, I also know my flaws and I've learned not freak out as long as I used to. Has anyone learned simply just not to go there?
I need to get ready for work shortly, but hope to hop around a bit. It will be in spurts but I need my blog time again. I've missed my friends here. Feels good to be back.
Happy reading & writing