I just recently finished reading Push by Sapphire. It was a fictional piece about a girl name Precious Jones who is a sixteen year old illiterate who has been sexually abused by both parents since she was a toddler till the birth of her second child by her father at eighteen. There is quite a bit about the work I was impressed with from simply a critical point of view, but what I hadn’t expected was the emotional flair up it caused me. This is not an a to b connection with the specifics of her life rather the distress, the disorientation Precious experiences. And yes, I know many women who are incest survivors. The fact that I know victims, I thought this part of the story was something I had developed emotional distance with. I know that's not the case now.
Now, I'm jumping a bit ahead here, but add to this I’ve already been wrestling with trying to get back into routines that make me feel comfortable and in control. As someone who has struggled and has learned to create structure, to follow through with tasks, routines matter. I really don’t know where to go with this, how to process my feelings and thoughts, but it’s taken me three days to get to a place where I could write about it.
If anyone vaguely gets what I’m talking about, I appreciate it and those who don’t I hope I don’t scare you off. Now I’m off to read.