Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Very Tardy Confession Tuesday

Have you ever read book, article or viewed some film that deeply disturbed you? And I mean a work that affects you deeply. Triggers some memory, unresolved issue(s)?

I just recently finished reading Push by Sapphire. It was a fictional piece about a girl name Precious Jones who is a sixteen year old illiterate who has been sexually abused by both parents since she was a toddler till the birth of her second child by her father at eighteen. There is quite a bit about the work I was impressed with from simply a critical point of view, but what I hadn’t expected was the emotional flair up it caused me. This is not an a to b connection with the specifics of her life rather the distress, the disorientation Precious experiences. And yes, I know many women who are incest survivors. The fact that I know victims, I thought this part of the story was something I had developed emotional distance with. I know that's not the case now.

Now, I'm jumping a bit ahead here, but add to this I’ve already been wrestling with trying to get back into routines that make me feel comfortable and in control. As someone who has struggled and has learned to create structure, to follow through with tasks, routines matter. I really don’t know where to go with this, how to process my feelings and thoughts, but it’s taken me three days to get to a place where I could write about it.

If anyone vaguely gets what I’m talking about, I appreciate it and those who don’t I hope I don’t scare you off. Now I’m off to read.

4 comments:

polkadotwitch said...

be well. be well.

as someone who also needs to guard against things that send my emotions reeling, i think i get it.

glad that you're aware it's spinning you around -- take care of yourself!

email me if you need to chat more!

susan said...

Carolee,
You are always right on time. Thanks for getting it.

Mariacristina said...

I understand, I think. You read a book that caused a turmoil of emotions during a time when you are fragile. You've been ill, your routine has changed, and at the same time, you are trying to be brave and stoic. And you are brave and stoic.

But the book led you to places where you feel vulnerable, a feeling you just don't want to indulge in right now. Am I on the right track?

I went through a major depression a year ago, and was reading a book called "Stiff." It was all about... I won't even go into it. I just had to put it down.

When I feel too much like that, I start reading books like Harry Potter. I know it seems corny, but it helps me.

susan said...

Thanks Christina,
I'm currently reading fantasy. Not my genre of choice but I'm participating in a reading challenge. Serendipity?