I suffer selective withdrawal. When I feel depressed, stressed or overwhelmed especially all three, I withdraw from the very things I know help me cope. I avoid friends, stop writing and stop walking. Of course this makes no sense. But then when does dysfunction make sense?
Anyhoo, I’m still breathing and I’m crawling out my dark hole for the one-thousandth time. Work is getting easier. I’m no longer riding the bus and have access to a car five days a week. Joined a group for using writing as a way to lose weight. Maybe you’re thinking, “She just said she withdraws, abandons what already works and then she proceeds to up another project?” Yep, I did. Why, because I’m a habitual joiner, a passionate, neurotic who depletes her emotional reserve regularly enough to recognize her pattern but hasn’t quite figured out her to quit the insanity completely.
So, like I was saying, work is better. I’m driving. I’m walking again, and I joined this writers’ group. In the last month, while I haven’t been blogging, I have been reading. In fact, I’m in the current throes of a serious reading binge. That’s because I belong to, you guessed it, a readers’ group. We are tracking our total pages read during 3-day rounds for a reading challenge called Last Tagger Standing. Tagger refers to the group’s goal of reading a different tag or genre each month. In April, I read twenty-one titles. In May, for the writers’ dieting group, I began reading The Writing Diet: Write Yourself Right-Size, by writing guru, Julia Cameron.
And that brings me back to blogging. Now, I’m reading and attempting to write myself to my right size. If you’re still following along with this babble, I hope you don’t think reading me is any indication that you’ve got any neurosis of your own.
Hopefully, by the time you get around to reading comments on your blog, you’ll be reading mine maybe thinking, “She’s back- again.”