Saturday, September 6, 2008

ascension

his spiral signature adorns my fingers
presence pulses quietly
closer than the air i breathe
intimate conversations
aren't always late night whispers



*This is an older piece that actually has been published. Posting it for One Single Impression for this week's prompt: defenses down.

20 comments:

spacedlaw said...

That is lovely and very evocative.

Julie said...

The first line is a wonderfully sensuous openng leading onto an evocation of physical passion. I would have liked maybe another verse to help me understand where you were heading with the whisper/non whisper angle. Is it the cry of sexual passion or is it voices raised in anger.

I like your response to the prompt ...

susan said...

Hi Julie,

This is about our personal relationship with God. The late night whisper is a reference to praying only when we are in need.

zoya gautam said...

..lovely_thank u for a beautiful poem..

Edward S Gault said...

We certainly let our defenses down for the ones we wish to be intimate with. Nice Work! Thank You for sharing this.

SandyCarlson said...

That is indeed beautiful, sensuous--defenses are definitely down.

anthonynorth said...

You turn intimacy almost into a form of spirituality - which, in one way, it is.
Beautiful.

Deborah Godin said...

I agree with Edward, whether we are intimately speaking with an earthly loved one or God.

susan said...

Deborah,

Thanks for acknowledging both. Would it be odd to say that I had not thought of a lover till after readers pointed it out to me? I wrote this at a time when I was discovering a Power within.

Raven said...

This is beautiful... The intensity of the connection vibrates in the words. I was glad you replied to Julie, though, as that deepened the poem for me and made the message more clear. I wonder of an alternate title might add more clarity...

Beautifully written.

susan said...

Hi raven,
Thanks for reading and commenting. What would you suggest?

Kathiesbirds said...

His spiral signature adorns my fingers-I thought of an engagement ring! I like the feeling of pulsing breathing. This poem feels close to ecstacy!

susan said...

Hi Kathie,
Look at your fingertips: spirals. I think they're spirals. lol Thanks for coming by and reading.

Regina Clare Jane said...

I so get this, Susan- it's just beautiful. And thanks for visitng me!

Beth said...

Dear Susan--
I really loved this poem, especially when you clarified what kind of ecstacy you were experiencing.

Your line about 'closer than the air i breathe' reminds me of a near death experience my grandmother had at 94 years of age in which she quietly described Jesus' presence in the NDE as 'closer than our own skin'.
Here's a post I made about her experience on the Virtual Tea House.
http://virtualteahouse.com/forums/thread/9.aspx

Thanks again for this beautiful piece, susan, and thanks for visiting my entry for this prompt!
Beth

susan said...

Beth,
Glad you like it.I'm considering Raven's suggestion for a new title. Going to check out the link you provide.

tumblewords said...

nicely done....

TD said...

It's when we stop speaking and start listening that we hear the whispers. This reminds me of my late nights and early mornings in the seminary chapel. Thank you for sharing.

Patois said...

Susan, knowing that is about the personal relationship with God deepens my appreciation of the poem. Flat-otu wonderful.

one more believer said...

amen, it is beautiful... prayer is everything... thank you for the clarification, i too, would have thought the intimacy of a lover...