The first line is a wonderfully sensuous openng leading onto an evocation of physical passion. I would have liked maybe another verse to help me understand where you were heading with the whisper/non whisper angle. Is it the cry of sexual passion or is it voices raised in anger.
Thanks for acknowledging both. Would it be odd to say that I had not thought of a lover till after readers pointed it out to me? I wrote this at a time when I was discovering a Power within.
This is beautiful... The intensity of the connection vibrates in the words. I was glad you replied to Julie, though, as that deepened the poem for me and made the message more clear. I wonder of an alternate title might add more clarity...
Dear Susan-- I really loved this poem, especially when you clarified what kind of ecstacy you were experiencing.
Your line about 'closer than the air i breathe' reminds me of a near death experience my grandmother had at 94 years of age in which she quietly described Jesus' presence in the NDE as 'closer than our own skin'. Here's a post I made about her experience on the Virtual Tea House. http://virtualteahouse.com/forums/thread/9.aspx
Thanks again for this beautiful piece, susan, and thanks for visiting my entry for this prompt! Beth
It's when we stop speaking and start listening that we hear the whispers. This reminds me of my late nights and early mornings in the seminary chapel. Thank you for sharing.
20 comments:
That is lovely and very evocative.
The first line is a wonderfully sensuous openng leading onto an evocation of physical passion. I would have liked maybe another verse to help me understand where you were heading with the whisper/non whisper angle. Is it the cry of sexual passion or is it voices raised in anger.
I like your response to the prompt ...
Hi Julie,
This is about our personal relationship with God. The late night whisper is a reference to praying only when we are in need.
..lovely_thank u for a beautiful poem..
We certainly let our defenses down for the ones we wish to be intimate with. Nice Work! Thank You for sharing this.
That is indeed beautiful, sensuous--defenses are definitely down.
You turn intimacy almost into a form of spirituality - which, in one way, it is.
Beautiful.
I agree with Edward, whether we are intimately speaking with an earthly loved one or God.
Deborah,
Thanks for acknowledging both. Would it be odd to say that I had not thought of a lover till after readers pointed it out to me? I wrote this at a time when I was discovering a Power within.
This is beautiful... The intensity of the connection vibrates in the words. I was glad you replied to Julie, though, as that deepened the poem for me and made the message more clear. I wonder of an alternate title might add more clarity...
Beautifully written.
Hi raven,
Thanks for reading and commenting. What would you suggest?
His spiral signature adorns my fingers-I thought of an engagement ring! I like the feeling of pulsing breathing. This poem feels close to ecstacy!
Hi Kathie,
Look at your fingertips: spirals. I think they're spirals. lol Thanks for coming by and reading.
I so get this, Susan- it's just beautiful. And thanks for visitng me!
Dear Susan--
I really loved this poem, especially when you clarified what kind of ecstacy you were experiencing.
Your line about 'closer than the air i breathe' reminds me of a near death experience my grandmother had at 94 years of age in which she quietly described Jesus' presence in the NDE as 'closer than our own skin'.
Here's a post I made about her experience on the Virtual Tea House.
http://virtualteahouse.com/forums/thread/9.aspx
Thanks again for this beautiful piece, susan, and thanks for visiting my entry for this prompt!
Beth
Beth,
Glad you like it.I'm considering Raven's suggestion for a new title. Going to check out the link you provide.
nicely done....
It's when we stop speaking and start listening that we hear the whispers. This reminds me of my late nights and early mornings in the seminary chapel. Thank you for sharing.
Susan, knowing that is about the personal relationship with God deepens my appreciation of the poem. Flat-otu wonderful.
amen, it is beautiful... prayer is everything... thank you for the clarification, i too, would have thought the intimacy of a lover...
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