In light of Body Image Week being hosted by a variety of teen book review bloggers, I confess that I have been a closet eater for years. Since I was a little girl I'd sneak and hide food. I'd wait until no one was around to get snacks or make extra meals. Why I thought I was actually hiding makes little sense since it was clear by my size that I enjoyed eating. I've never quite broken the habit but I have had success, sometimes I've been more successful than at other improving my dietary habits.
As an adult, I don't want to be thin. As an African American woman, our body image is different from the rail thin white models we're all bombarded with. Still, for a long time I desperately wanted that brick house body. We like to joke our men like a little meat on the bone, but nobody needs to carry an excess of thirty pounds which is clinically classified as obese. I actually was an amateur bodybuilder for a few years. (Yes, I competed and actually placed respectably). Anyhoo, my current challenge is to take off the ten plus pounds I packed on during my early morning runs to Checkers during my midnight shift. I got into a quite damaging habit. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror (the tight pants alone wasn't enough to motivate me to stop) and I was instantly depressed.
Being older and coming from a family plagued with short life spans often curtailed by disease and poor dietary habits, I know my body can't take this weight. Fortunately, I've got more than vanity pressing me. So, I'm off for a walk shortly and when I come home, my guy will encourage me. Still, I'd really like to get to a place where I stop overeating. However, in order to stop overeating I'd also have to learn how to better cope with stress and disappointments. To read more about Body Image Week visit My Favorite Author.
To read more confessions, check in with January.