Wednesday, April 8, 2009

NaPoWriMO #8

Some Collect Shoes

His name was Steven and we were eight.
He kissed me in my basement.
I dreamed of us having a new washer
and dryer and yellow babies.

Keith was sixteen. I wrote Mrs. C-
over and over in my notebook.
He took me on my first date.
Underneath a table, on a floor
he broke my heart.

Paul was the Monkey in Chinese Zodiac.
A ravenous lover with lean muscles
and the stamina of a man ten years his junior.
He drove me mad and left me spent.

Willi was my senior. A gentleman who bought
me flowers just because. Took me to real jazz
concerts and catered to my every whim. But
I didn't love him.






List all of your old flames. Try to go back as far as your first kiss in the 2nd grade coat closet. Sit with your list. Depending on your mood today, choose the flame with the most sparks, or pin the list on the wall and throw a dart. Whatever your method or mood, write a poem about an old flame.

17 comments:

Serena said...

great poem, though it seems unfinished to me somehow. I hope you revisit this poem.

thanks for sharing it.

susan said...

Serena,
It is unfinished. If I had used an ink well, the ink would still be wet. lol I wrote at rwp that I am looking forward to seriously working on this draft. I loved the prompt. I'll add it to the post. The prompt told to us to list old flames and then write a poem about one. I opted to write about a list of old flames.

watermaid said...

Your list worked extremely well. Definitely one to come back to.

Elizabeth said...

You have some powerful images here. I really liked "Paul the monkey in the Chinese Zodiac." It says a lot. Hope you keep working on it.

susan said...

Hi Elizabeth, I thought that was one of the better, lines, too.

susan said...

I meant add that like me, you must know the traits of the Monkey. lol

Danielle Mari said...

Ok. I aDORe the title.

Glad you'll be coming back to it. It leaves me aching to get some overall perspective on the collection :D

susan said...

Ask now. Might help me flesh it out. What would you like to know? I love talking about back story, construction, form, word choice. Talk to me.

Diana Dang said...

Nice poem! Those are quite interesting crushes you had there.

Anonymous said...

Can I just put their photos on the wall and throw darts?

Zetta Elliott said...

that was me, zetta

Thinking Aloud said...

I had such a laundry list of relationships that I am still trying to sort out. I took the safe road and wrote about my husband, I will meet this challenge square in the face and come back to it soon!

susan said...

T, I was the crash and burn queen. This is an abridged list. I think few women could, and few would be brave to reveal a list as long as my true list would be. I went for archetypes here. And like you, I was hesitant to meet this squarely on.

Erin Davis said...

Wow. This is wonderful. I'll look forward to reading it when you revise...

Christy said...

A great list of loves you have here. I enjoyed this! Especially loved hearing about your first love, such an innocence age to fall in love at. Look forward to reading the extended list at some point.

Bsquared86 said...

I really enjoyed this. I love where it's headed . . . thank you for sharing with us!

Claire said...

Ah! So much truth and sadness in that last line.