Monday, April 6, 2009

Typical Evening

I folded the laundry,
scrubbed carrots and potatoes,
read some poetry,
avoided balancing my checkbook.
Ate meatless stew and drank
cran-apple mixed with soda,
read some poetry.

Pulled off twice worn jeans and sweater
slumped into bed alone.
Under the blankets, I clutched my sides,
tried to push black back to the corners
finally, I cried. Cried because I had stuffed
tears down as long as I could.
Missed him, missed my children,
missed me.

This is a revisited piece. I'm sharing this for TOP's prompt, solitaire.


Serena said...

Wow, this is very solemn! great work though.

sudharm baxi said...

awwww Susan, where have children gone?

And good one as always...

susan said...

sudharm, good question. The reader is free to speculate.

Thanks, Serena.

Tea said...

Typical Evening really touched my heart. I felt your pain. I felt loneliness too. Very good writing.

Amias said...

I felt this all the way to Texas ... ahhhh ... such loneliness.

Thinking Aloud said...

I love the line "Pulled off twice worn jeans and sweater
slumped into bed alone."

The image of someone who,at least for this time, couldn't bother to stand in front of a closest and make choices when the people they need, they love, are not around.

Love it!

susan said...

Tea, Amias & T, thanks, like most writers I draw on experience but I've also learned to create emotional space before sharing and often before writing. I also like blurring fiction and reality. I say that to say, I'm glad you all can relate but don't worry now. I'm okay. :-)

Sadako said...

I really liked this one as well--it really made me feel.

Anonymous said...

Wonderful portrayal of deep loneliness.

Anonymous said...

i like the form you've used. two sections. lists contained within a list. and i like how the second one opens up and exposes more -- both in the physical imagery and emotionally.

susan said...

Thanks Carolee and rwp, of course I'd just when I'm on a roll something smacks me upside the head: allergeies and my lovely cycle. TMI? Anyhoo, I'm trying to keep up.