Recommded Summer Vacation Reads

A few months back, someone sent me a copy of Saving Maddie by Varian Johnson (See Ari's review). I carried the book with me on my bus commute with the intent to read it over a couple of rides and lunches at work. Well when I got to work, I shared the book with a co-worker whose son is a reluctant reader. She's always looking for something for him. Without thinking, I offered the book. Later when I asked her if he liked it she told me her son started reading it but she could tell he was reading it because she wanted him to so she gave it to her niece (she wasn't happy about the girl's normal reading choices). She said her niece immediately got into the book so much so she apparently told her cousin about the story then he wanted it back. When the niece finished the book, my friend asked if her son could finish reading it. This go round he, too, became engrossed with the book staying up late to read, something my friend says never happens. When he was done with the book, his younger sister wanted to read it so he gave it to her without telling his mom he had finished. In the end my gifted, soft cover book endured a real good wearing from three teens. My co-worker felt so bad about the condition of the book, she got me a hard cover. So to Varian, I apologize for not reviewing your latest but I hope you and other readers will appreciate how well received the book was among these teens, two of whom are preacher kids.

Before summer I read Tortilla Sun by Jennifer Cervantes. I wrote about it though not a full review. Loved it. Before I went on leave I shared this book with the same co-worker mentioned above. I'm pretty sure I know what she's going to say.

Next is One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams Garcia. I love this author's work and this book is no exception. Do check out the video clip at Zetta Eliott's blog. I was twenty pages shy of finishing when I made the same mistake of sharing a book too soon. I told a friend of my daughter's how much I enjoyed it. Actually, she had come to see my daughter and while waiting she noticed the book on the hallway bookcase ( my daughter's friends often eye my books and then shyly they will sometimes ask to borrow one). I watched her her read the book titles and I knew she was going to ask. I started to say let me finish but I couldn't risk her not coming back (she's actually a regular reader and likely would ask) but I seize all opportunities to give kids books.

Last book is Elizabeti's Doll by Stephanie Stuve-Bodeen. I received this book from the publisher. It's a lovely book about a little girl who wants to emulate her mother. Her mom recently had a new baby and Elizabeti wants one to care for, too. The story takes place in Tanzania. The little girl doesn't own a doll so she searches for something to be her baby. She settles for an oval not to heavy or large rock. She takes good care of her baby. She makes the sweetest comments such as she's relieved her baby doesn't make the same mess in her cloth like her new baby brother does. Really enjoyed this. Look for it.

Confession Tuesday

Arrgggggggggggggg. Cranky, tired and weepy. Why did it take me two days to realize I'm pmsing? Seriously, how long have I had a cycle? I am sick of being suzy downer. Maude, I really can't stand being in this funk- not now.

Confession, I've fallen off the book mobile and I feel so ashamed. I'm afraid to step back into the truck. I imagine the driver giving me a look that says, "You've got a lot of nerve showing back up here."

I do have a few summer reading suggestions so let me work on those after dinner. Maybe a dose of blog hopping. Physical Therapy tomorrow. Hoping that goes well.

Affirming My Whole and Peace-filled Self

Here's what Linda Spangle has in store for us to do today: Tell yourself "I can do it." at least 10 times. Use this to cheerlead yourself through the entire day! In your notebook, write "I can do it because. . ." and then add a few supportive phrases such as "I'm capable of doing anything." Read your phrases often, using them to reinforce your goals and build your enthusiasm. Good luck! Looking forward to your posts.

If I still had my car, I'd would have gone to Meeting. A few years ago, I began attending Quaker Meetings in Ann Arbor. My first service was everything I needed.We practice what is called silent worship. It's a kind of collective meditation. It is a serene peaceful way to connect with God. I look forward to becoming still, being open to expectant listening.

Today's lesson is attuned to what I embraced in the 90s, you know, the New Age era where affirmations and meditation were celebrated like a new (nothing new about it) found religion. I believe in the power of the spoken word. When we say a thing we are asking the universe to align our reality with our thinking.

Day 7 of 100 Days

For today's lesson, I affirm, I can do this because:

I am everything I need to be right now in this moment.
I am living and breathing perfect health and wholeness.
In my world, I can do anything.


Starting weight: 171 lbs.
Current weight: 153.2 lbs.
Current week: -1.4 lbs.
Total weight loss: -17.8 lbs.

*Periodically I'll share my progress because the assignments are about more than weight loss. For me they are about healing and creating the life I want.

Confession Tuesday

Wouldn't you know just when I'm finding my groove again, my pc decides to spazz out on me. It was down most of the day and when I could get on, I had a few other writing assignments I wanted to complete. Then I had a community meeting for my apartment complex. Then dinner.

I confess I almost bailed. Then I thought how I'd feel if I couldn't get on tomorrow. Nope, do it now.

Apparently, I have a low tolerance for pain. When I banged my knee at the gym, despite trying to feign toughness, I passed out because of the pain. Before my surgery, they had to medicate me (polite way of saying dope me up) because my blood pressure spiked and it only escalated. Now I had some pain but nothing that should have caused the spike. Throw in a little anxiety (I hate hospitals and the idea of anesthesia really scares me) and you get one spazzed out chica. Lesson: I need to remain healthy. Pain and fear is a nasty stroke- inducing cocktail for me. I have to do better to relax and take my recovery slowly or I risk raising my blood pressure which means more medication. Like I said, I must stay healthy.

My daughter is currently reading Woman Hollering Creek by Sandra Cisneros. She tries so hard to impress me. I confess I initially let an exasperated sigh slip through my lips (I feared she'd be bored and it would be more weeks before she picked up another book) but I rebounded and asked her what she thought. As it turns out the more she reads it, the more she likes it. I confess I haven't told her I haven't read it yet. My daughter assumes I've read everything. While she's running around with her buddies, I'll have to read it so I can ask her more and we can enjoy talking about a book we've both read. She is still my reluctant reader so when we both like a read it is a huge treat for me.

From Biggest Loser To Injury To 100 Days

Back in April I joined a group of co-workers in a biggest loser weight loss challenge. Eight weeks in, my cousin died. He was the ultimate health enthusiast. He trained every day and was a healthy vegetarian for more than two decades before his spinal injury two years ago and later the heart attack that killed him. Week nine, three weeks before we concluded the challenge, I injured my knee at the gym. I've been homebound since.

Each member in the challenge sought her own way to lose the weight. Four weeks in, I joined Weight Watchers with a co-worker who was really getting it done. Access and cost were restraints for me so for support and ideas, I joined the online community.

I had surgery last week and it went well. I'll likely be hobbling back to work soon. The challenge at work has ended. My efforts have stalled. I'm still eating well and tracking my food most of the time but not being able to go to the gym and the financial strain of being off work has distracted me from setting new goals and working towards them. When I hurt my knee, my biggest fear was gaining weight back. When I continued to eat sensibly and continued to lose, I stopped worrying but I was stuck.

While the past few months have been rough, they don't compare to how I felt knocked on my ass when Mikey died. There are still days when I feel stunned. Before his death, I felt burdened and I couldn't see a direction. I injured my knee running into an immovable object. I went down hard. I was disoriented and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I felt this way emotionally before my accident and at times after Mikey died, I've felt the same way.

This is the strangest segue I'll probably ever write, but through a book, I'm embarking on a lifestyle change. I'm participating in a challenge based Linda Spangle's book, 100 Days of Weight Loss. Based on my family and our medical history it makes sense that I'd latch on. I've busied myself with losing weight. I have withdrawn from those who know me and the things I love. I couldn't fix my knee or stop my grieving or pay the rent but losing weight was something tangible. This book is about by creating balance and letting go of the weight. I want to let go of the weight, the hurt and the imbalance in my life. I want what Mikey showed me was possible: to lead a life I love, to be whole, to be healthy and happy.

One of the reasons I've been successful with my weight loss so far is because I thrive in community efforts. I do well with group support and structured activities. I am blogger. I write. I need to record what I think and feel. So here I go again. I won't be blogging every assignment (another goal is to get back to books) though I will complete them.

Assignment #1

Make a list of any fears or negative behaviors that have hurt your weight-loss success in the past. Read each one out loud, and then say, "I used to be that way, but now
I'm different." •Then write new endings for them by completing this sentence: I used to ______________ (fill in your old behavior), but now I __________________ (write in your new ending). •Read these new outcomes often, and then live in a way that makes them true.

My list:

I refused and was afraid of tracking my food.
I refused to total calories.
I refused to measure my food.
I refused to join any weight loss program.
I refused to consider I could weigh 130 pounds.
I feared trying to become really lean; what would I look like lean? Would I recognize myself?
I feared taking pictures.
I feared I wouldn't be able to maintain a healthy weight.

Then and Now:

I used to be afraid to track my food, but now I do track and it's not as scary as I had feared.

I used to refuse to total my calories but now I do and it's empowering to know what I'm eating and learning where I can improve.

I used to refuse to measure my food, but now I find myself doing it without thinking about it.

I used to refuse joining any weight loss program, but now I belong to a wonderful community and I have a plan that is working for me.

I used to refuse to believe I could weigh 130 pounds, but now I don't think that's impossible. I can achieve a weight that is good for me.

I used to fear trying to become really lean. I couldn't imagine what I'd look like or if I'd recognize me, but now I'm open to seeing a me I haven't seen before.

I used to fear taking pictures, but now I want to get to place where I want lots of pictures. I'm moving in that direction.

I used to fear I wouldn't be able to maintain a healthy weight, but now I 'm eating better, losing weight and not feeling hungry. These experiences have bolstered my confidence that I can maintain.

Starting weight: 171 lbs.
Current weight: 154.6 lbs.
Current week loss: 0 lbs.
Total weight loss: -16.4 lbs