Sunday, December 9, 2007

Leaving the Castle

Here's my response to Friday's 5 prompt at Poefusion.

On this particular day, she donned hideous checkered, mustard pants with an elastic waistband and an equally loud key lime sweater. The pants weren’t Capri's, just too short pant with legs flapping like wings above her ankles. She was notoriously awkward and shy, but her fashion choices and clumsy gate betrayed her desire to go about unnoticed. The combination did however fortify an invisible moat around her until that fateful day when by serendipity, she was drawn to a Baldwin piano calling her at distant from the large display window- she walked into the music store. The piano drew her like a lover’s voice across a crowded mall; she heard her name and eagerly she answered. She sat, cradled by the softness of the cushioned bench and like a tentative first kiss she began to caress the keys. Then encouraged by the sweetness of new love, her fingers began to dance and she released a passion that until that moment, she hadn’t known existed.

7 comments:

paisley said...

oh susan,, that was so nice.. what a refreshing read.. i am so glad you joined us on friday five...

i do so want to take a moment and thank you as well for your comment on my entry,,, i had the same misgivings about the use of the words notorious,, and moat,, but i had to give the eulogist the benefit of the doubt!!!!!

susan said...

Hi Paisely,

Well, we were working with restraints, we always know that if we really like a draft we can work on refining it. I am glad for the wonderful communities to find inspiration and peers who are willing to give feedback. Glad you take time to read and comment. Thanks.

Michelle Johnson said...

Good morning, Susan! Thank you for your story. I could so easily picture the young lady stepping inside the mall to play the Baldwin piano. Your story was beautiful. Thanks for sharing with us at Poefusion. Keep up the good work. And, welcome to Friday 5. Have a nice day.

Mariacristina said...

This reminds me of the tale of the ugly duckling. It's our inner passion that makes us beautiful, but like you also express in your competition poem, we often don't realize this truth until later in life. I'm 47, and the feelings you portray here make being older not so bad.

...eatsbugs said...

Haha, the first half of that reminds me of someone I know.

Very nice.

UL said...

Applause, applause - bet everything came to a standstill and everyone was drawn, sucked into the beauty of the music, ,just like this post did to me...thank you.


UL

LaTonya Baldwin said...

Really wish I could remember my password to this blog. I miss this space.