Confession Tuesday

Readers, I need you to give it to me straight. Do I need to let go of my hope for connection? Over the past the year, I've done some serious blog hopping, commenting and participating in a variety of online activities and events. I've just signed on for several challenges for 2010. I confess I'm a joiner. Before the Internet, I hung out at coffee houses, joined clubs and served on committees. Today, my social life is insulated, centralized. I confess I now spend most of my social life online.

With every meme or challenge, I hope to meet new people or to connect in a more intimate way with bloggers I've met and enjoyed, but more often than not, I find I'm not meeting new folks, I'm not interacting more; I often feel I'm shouting to the wind. Even here, followers are multiplying but less than 1% comment. I'd love to chat with you all at least once. Is that silly or unrealistic? I'd visit your blogs and comment in your space but many of you don't have links in your profile so unless you initiate, I can't even say hello.

Holidays aside, is it unrealistic to expect participants in memes or challenges to visit and comment to one another? Do we join so we have a larger audience and another opportunity to chat with established friends? What about the obvious new folks? Are we invisible? Am I the only one joining these activities so I can meet you?

I'm beginning think that the majority of bloggers are very interested in saying what they think in their own space and among close friends, but not very interested in widening circles. And maybe it's time I stop hoping for inclusion. And those of you who have been reading me for awhile no this complaint isn't new. I want FEEDBACK. I want to go into 2010 with realistic expectations so tell me if it's time to let go.

I'll close with something not narcissistic but very disturbing to me. This week when a young man suffered severe burns in a terrorist attack on a flight to Detroit, one of our stateswomen said he shouldn't have been taken to a burn center but straight to jail. Now, at-large many will condemn the terrorist, but what about the mindset of the political figure, a woman who represents a group of citizens? Where is this woman's humanity? Humanity isn't doled out to the deserving, it is a core characteristic that moves us to behave at the highest level and that means to treat all people humanely because it's the right thing to do.

I was saddened by the young man's warped actions, but the stateswoman's comments stunned me. I was appalled. Are we as a society equally demented, so willing to shuck our humanity because others want to do us harm?

Little Lov'n Monday

Little Lov'n Monday is a day we celebrate the work of fellow bloggers. Between now and Wednesday, post a link to anything you think deserves a little lov'n. Leave a link and be entered in LLM Giveaway.

This week, I'm focusing on articles that fall under the social justice umbrella. I hope you all had a great extended weekend with your families. I did. My eldest flew in from San Diego. I was shocked when I opened my door and she was standing there. She and my youngest are hanging out and what can I say, seeing her swells my chest with pride.

As we enter the new year, may we remember what matters most. For me, it's: family, love, faith, justice and charity.

Deadline is December 30th. I'll leave this open to readers outside of the US and Canada, but instead of shipping a book, I'll email you a gift card. It's too costly for me to ship beyond Canada.

Keeping things simple. Winner can choose any title from the Prize Bucket at Color Online (new titles have been added). This week, my links include issues that warrant public discourse so speak up people.

Drop those links & check out these :

"One Cow Makes a Difference" at Nourishing The Planet.

"Beyond Band-Aids for Hunger" at Border Jumpers

"Growing Saffron, Not Opium" at Afghan Women Writers Blog

"Domestic Violence Survivor Wins Asylum After 14-year Fight" at Change.org

Women Unbound: Stealing Budhha's Dinner

Stealing Budhha's Dinner:a memoir
Bich Minh Nyguen
Viking
2009

Stealing Buddha’s Dinner is a good and uneven story of a Vietnamese girl who grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan in the early 80s. Bich’s family escapes Saigon in 1975 and are sponsored by a Christian Reformed Church family in what Bich describes as a sea of blonde and blue-eyed people. The memoir chronicles how the narrator struggles to define who she is: a Vietnamese girl who left her native home so young that she only identifies with her culture through her grandmother and her grandmother’s food and faith. Bich desperately wants to be American and for her assimilation is fed by her obsession with American junk food.

I’ve read a few memoirs that use food as a way of showing how we relate to family and how our identities are in part shaped by how food is integral to our culture; a promising vehicle and I was excited to read this. What is most problematic with the memoir however is how tightly Bich binds everything in either lists of food, episodes of eating food or thinking about food. Still in a society that is currently suffering in mass from obesity and our own neurosis with food disorders, Bich’s obsession works for me. While our relationships with food vary, for most of us, food is comfort.

I was expecting what I thought was a typical immigrant story but early on it became clear this would be different. Bich was eight-months-old when her family fled Vietnam. When they moved to Grand Rapids, Bich's family was part of a small, but growing minority surrounded by a largely homogeneous Dutch-descent, CRC community. Because they were sponsored, there was work and the extended family was intact. Every immigrant experience isn't punctuated by strife though assimilation is common factor. Bich’s story is about creating an identity not holding on to one. The memoir isn’t linear and the jumping around can be a bit confusing but overall, the obsession with food and the desire to be accepted unifies the work. Bich’s reluctance to relay her feelings without food to help her is at times tedious yet just when I had had enough of the food, she’d share something personal and intimate like the time she spends with her grandmother while she prays or watching television with her.

In one review, the reader felt the Laura Ingalls Wilder passage was disjointed and unnecessary. I couldn’t disagree more. This passage provides the kind of clarity that was missing for most of the book. Sans the food descriptions, in this section the author describes with incredible clarity the internal conflict of alienation yet an undeniable desire to fit in with people who reject her, will always see her as a foreigner and who frankly are prejudice and unkind; they aren’t perfect. They are not ideal. The Ingall section was an acknowledgment I had been waiting for. I had grown impatient with the child Bich who up to then failed to acknowledge how she willingly glossed over the pain of alienation and prejudice and instead fixated on the fantasy she believed was key to her happiness. And while she didn’t overtly discuss it, her descriptions of the Cleaver homes in the 80s was a juxtaposition I couldn’t stop thinking about. Here’s a child growing up with a progressive though enabler stepmother, idolizing pop icons like Madonna and what this child craves most is a dated model of a mother in a starched apron baking cookies.

Some readers have remarked they wanted to know more about her parents' strained relationship and the author’s relationships with her siblings and uncles, but for me, I get the not sharing too much about her family. This is Bich’s story. Her family didn’t sign up for having their lives opened for examination and speculation. Could Bich have done better to show how she related to them, maybe, but I appreciate her respecting their privacy.

There are moments here that are memorable and well written. Yes, the book is uneven, it’s not a smooth ride but neither is real life. This is non-fiction not a screenplay. It’s one woman attempting to wrangle into words a girl’s tumultuous coming of age and her struggle to reconcile a hunger she couldn’t satiate while growing up. Despite its shortcomings this feels real to me. It feels honest and that is satisfying.

How do you feel about memoirs? Have you read this? If so, what did you think? After reading my take on the work, are you interested or you'll pass?

As I mentioned I have read other memoirs where food was central to family and identity. You might enjoy The Skin Between Us by Kym Regusa or Trail of Crumbs by Kim Sunee

A Reader's Response & Invitation

Over a course of several months, I have enjoyed reading more reviews of poc books and have left comments but that wasn't enough. I wanted dialogue. For example, there have been times when I've finished a review of a classic or staple African American book and I've thought, "That's it?" Now you could argue, "Well, Susan why don't you write a review yourself?" Fair question. Here's the deal: The book in question is often a book I've read years ago. I don't see the point of rereading it solely to write a review especially when there are so many new works being written by aspiring poc writers desperate to get a little press of their own. And me writing the review doesn't address what is the core of what I'm seeing here: a reluctance or uneasiness or something I can't name that is different when a non-poc reader reviews a poc book.

Back to me. I'm more interested in discussing a work than reviewing it. So I keep reading new reads and reading reviews of books I've read and loved and hoping a reviewer will share some meat about a work by a person of color, something that says how her own experiences and perspective affected how she processed the book. (Anytime you feel like telling me lighten up, go head, we're both safely behind our screens.)

My point is if you've read it, tell us what you really think and not what you think is the polite and safe thing to say. Why? Because when your review reads more like a polite courtesy than a gut response, your readers are likely to respond in-kind. Then a reader like me comes along glad that a review is published. I take note of all the polite responses and that usually leads to feeling we've all missed of an opportunity to talk about a book that likely has introduced some readers to experiences or views different from their own or the experiences might very well be similar, and the reader is a little surprised that the book isn't so different from what they've lived or known. Wouldn't it be more interesting to explore these possibilities?

I try not to complain without taking some action so instead of simply leaving a comment somewhere where those of you who are reading me here are not likely to read my comments to a review elsewhere, I'm going to write or republish my responses to reviews of books by people of color when I've asked or added something I didn't see in the review or comments.

My aim is to create a discussion about a book I've read and enjoyed but not reviewed. Sharing my reader's response is an invitation for dialogue, and unless it becomes problematic or troubling for you, I'm going to cite the review that inspired my response.

I like to talk about books. I appreciate an honest discussion about what literature says about us, and I'm interested in how we respond to what we read.

First up is a classic, The Bluest Eye. I recently read Su's review at Su [shu]'s. See her full review here. Here's what I had to say:

This book shook me when I was a young woman. This book is important for so many lessons not the least among them what it means to a black girl living in a culture where whiteness is not only synonymous with power and superiority, but it is the benchmark of beauty. Imagine growing up in a world with a standard you can never achieve. Pecola’s obsession with this kind of beauty in a significant way contributes to her mental breakdown.

And let’s not forget what Morrison is saying about domestic violence and incest. We don’t say these words aloud enough.

Have you read The Bluest Eye? What did you think about it? What point(s) do you think Morrison is making? Any comments about other Morrison titles?

South Asian Author Challenge

S. Krishna is hosting this challenge for 2010. She writes:

This challenge is to encourage people to read books by South Asian Authors – South Asia being India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka. Please not that it does not include the Middle East! The books can be from any time period, contemporary or classic.

There are four different commitment levels: 3, 5, 7 or 10. There will be prizes. Find details here. I'm in with 10. I've opted for mostly YA but would love some adult title suggestions. Would love to have women writers or titles that address social justice themes so I can have crossover with the other challenges I'm participating in. Any suggestions? Are you joining in challenges in 2010.

My reading list:
The Weight of Heaven by Thrity Umrigar
The Space Between Us: A Novel by Thrity Umrigar
bitter sweets by Roopa Farooki
Indie Girl by Kavita Daswani
Beneath My Mother's Feet by Amjed Qama
Ask Me No Questions by Marina Budhos
Climbing The Stairs by Padma Venkatraman
Wanting Mor by Rukhsana Khan
Shooting Khabul by N.H. Senzai

My recommended YA list:
Shine, Coconut Moon by Neesha Meminger
Secret Keeper by Mitali Perkins
Skunk Girl by Sheba Karim
Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier
Sadika’s Way by Hina Haq

strike through= completed read.

Confession Tuesday

It's Tuesday evening. Just me and my guy. It's quiet and for the first time in weeks, there's no clamoring, no noise or drama. DQ blew out here so quick on Saturday she caused a mini gale of her own. She's relaxing with the comforts of cable and her cousin's company at my sister's, and we are enjoying a little downtime of our own.

I received some lovely cards. Thank you all. My secret santa sent me a copy of Kinky Gazpacho by Lori L. Tharps, a book I have wanted for a while now. Thanks, SS. Once I sign off, I'm finishing up Beneath My Mother's Feet by Amjed Qama.

Christmas will be low-key for us and I think we, adults are looking forward to an uncomplicated, simple meal on Christmas Eve and on Christmas day, our teen will open gifts and promptly abandoned us for hours of texting and posting on Facebook.

I'm looking forward to reading, sleeping and a bit of blogging during my extended weekend. When I return to work, I'll be in my cubby and happy for a little space of my own.

I'm grateful for my health, my family, glad my children are older even though they are also as vocal and opinionated as their mother. I'm grateful for friends. We choose our friends and as I get older, my friends mean more to me because like family, we're all busy running households, growing older in love with partners and going through the trials of children approaching adulthood which means we don't get the chance to get together as often as we'd like.

Feeling pretty sentimental tonight. I am tired but not exhausted, content and happy with less activity this holiday season. Reminiscing more, glad for the memories and a feeling a little sad remembering those who are no longer here to celebrate. Our family gatherings are so much smaller now. Years ago I never thought about how much I would later value our large and loud get-togethers. I never considered our circle getting smaller. Of course intellectually I knew our holidays would change, but when you've always had the same kind of holiday from childhood to early adulthood, you don't think about how you'll feel when what you knew is no longer what you have.

I used to wish my children could have had the kind Christmases we had growing up but maybe they are really okay with what they know. Why did I think I had to replicate what we had to make them happy, to give them experiences they would lovingly remember? I realize now I wanted them to have what I had because what I had had made me happy.

I'm starting to ramble now and I have no desire to polish this. I want to finish my book, go to bed early, rise early, work a light day and spend one more evening alone with my guy. We aren't exchanging gifts this year and not shopping was a relief. Not shopping: I never thought I could enjoy Christmas without my once a year shopping frenzy and having a tree bottom full of presents. Maybe next year I'll want to resume my old tradition, but tonight my gift to me is a good book and a little bit of Christmas music to lull me off to sleep.

Wishing all of you a safe and blessed holiday season.

Little Lov'n Monday

Little Lov'n Monday is a day we celebrate the work of fellow bloggers. Between now and Wednesday, post a link to an article, contest, interview, poem- anything you think deserves a little lov'n. Leave a link and be entered in LLM Giveaway. Deadline is December 23th. I'll leave this open to readers outside of the US and Canada, but instead of shipping a book, I'll email you a gift card. It's too costly for me to ship beyond Canada.

Keeping things simple. Winner can choose any title from the Prize Bucket at Color Online (new titles have been added). This week, my links include issues that warrant public discourse so speak up people.

Drop those links & check out these :

"Princess and The Frog" at The Bottom of Heaven
Another critique of "Princess and the Frog" at Nnedi's
"Chris Cheng's commitment to literacy" at papertigers.
"Best Sellers List for Poetry" (thanks to Tarayi for the link) at Poetry Foundation
Enter Glorious book giveaway at Naki (Bernice McFadden)
PaperbackSwap School Donation Program at PaperBackSwap.com
Sugar by Bernice McFadden reviewed by Eva at Striped Armchair

Sunday Salon

It's been awhile since I've written a Sunday Salon post here. It's also been too long since I've had any real quality reading and writing time. I'm surprised that the number of followers continue to grow here. Actually, I feel guilty and embarrassed about it. I write sporadically, nothing particularly insightful nor creative yet many of you are showing up here.

Anyhoo, today I'm glad I've had a little time to read bloggers who do write well. Many are friends I respect and admire. If you haven't checked out a few of the bloggers I read, I highly recommend you check out Zetta at Fledgling, Jill at Rhapsody in Books,Tayari at Tayari's Jones and Claudia at The Bottom of Heaven.

Life is hectic at home and not just because of the holidays. The rogue cheerleaders have been suspended. There is a fierce and unpentrable alliance among them. I am struggling to find a balance in my reaction and doling out fair consequences. The cheerleading squad adopted two families so we finished shopping for a young girl and that was a nice distraction. We're just getting around to sprucing up the house with holiday decorations. I have a few gifts to pick up. It's another lean Christmas but this year doesn't sting as much.

Because I am new on my job, I only have Christmas Eve and Christmas off (unpaid). We're moving to our cubes on Wednesday, and we're all beyond ready to be in our little spaces. I'm looking forward to a daily, monotonous grind (hey, I need no more excitement nor challenges in my life). I'm looking forward to short, slow week.

Little reading but I have gotten in some. I put Marshall's, Brown Girl, Brownstones aside for now. It's a great read but it doesn't fit my mood right now. Instead, I picked up Graffiti Women by Nick Ganz and very much enjoying the artwork and the writers/artists commentary. A while back, Doret from Happy Nappy Bookseller or Ari at Reading In Color recommended Lockdown: Escape From Furnance by Alexander Gordon Smith. I requested it from my library and this weekend it finally came in.

I've signed up for several reading challenges for the new year (see my sidebar) and I'm thinking about approaching my local branch about starting a book chat group. The DQ has been enlisted. Of course she's thrilled. Cheerleading has taken up all free time for homeschooling (and to be honest we can't carry on a conversation for more than ten minutes before she's complaining and I'm asking why I have been forsaken) and her blog- well, Facebook is far more appealing. Anyhoo. Here's to a new year.

Hope you all are enjoying holiday activities and each other.

Confession Tuesday

It's Wednesday and again this is late. It's late because I felt too depressed and uneasy about writing about how I'm feeling. Then I found inspiration. So for my first mini confession, I confess that more often than not I need to read others first for inspiration.

Now what's bothering me and a sad confession. I have a problem with the glorification of ghetto mannerisms. There is huge difference between urban and ghetto. Just as there is nothing noble about being poor, there is nothing cute or admirable about showing your ass which is my overarching description and literal issue with ghetto in this episode.

I'm depressed because my local high school has a segregated cheerleading squad in a community that boasts diversity in the twenty-first century, a team that is segregated because the black teens are the ones who do everything possible not to function as a team. What depresses me is that the black cheerleaders not only took ghetto, sexualized, stereotypical poses and posted them to Facebook after a game, a game which they had been told beforehand not to wear their uniforms ("The coach said not to school not the game.") but even worse after lectures in at least two homes (I'm assuming one other home because said photos were taken down) including mine, I have a teen who thinks a) I don't like black people and that extends to not loving her and b) said teen doesn't understand how their behavior reflects poorly on her.

Confession: I'm depressed not only about the incident but what it says about me. I feel like I've failed. Clearly I have not been involved enough. I'm a pitiful parent and a fraud. Here I am Ms. multicultural and I'm raising a child who isn't interested in reading, diversity, inclusion, standard English and I swear it feels like she's not interested in any of the values and ideas I desperately want her to embrace.

And I am distant. I do struggle with parenting and my dirty laundry is hanging on the line. Bottom line I do judge my parenting by how my children behave and how they are perceived. When they do well, I love the praise and when they mess up, I feel responsible. And some of the responsibility does fall on me. So I'm depressed. My ass is showing and its too big and there's nothing cute about it being splayed on Facebook.

Little Lov'n Monday

Little Lov'n Monday is a day we celebrate the work of fellow bloggers. Between now and Wednesday, post a link to an article, contest, interview, poem- anything you think deserves a little lov'n. Leave a link and be entered in LLM Giveaway. Deadline is December 14th. I'll leave this open to readers outside of the US and Canada, but instead of shipping a book, I'll email you a gift card. It's too costly for me to ship beyond Canada.

Keeping things simple. Winner can choose any title from the Prize Bucket at Color Online (new titles have been added). This week, my links include issues that warrant public discourse so speak up people.

Drop those links & check out these :

End of the Year Celebrations at Papertigers.

Reading In Color's 2009 Holiday Gift Guide @ Reading In Color

Social Justice Challenge

A Wish After Midnight Blog

Social Justice Challenge

From the organizers of Social Justice Challenge:

Reading opens new worlds to us and can sometimes expose the injustice in our own. We have all been powerfully moved by the injustice we have learned about in books and decided we wanted to host a reading project that would encourage us to learn more about these issues in the world. We have chosen to focus each month on a different area of social injustice in the world. During that month, we are asking that you read something from the list of resources or watch something suggested by that month’s host.

This challenge is very different than others. This requires serious commitment. You’re asked to read to learn and follow up with an action step. There are multiple participation levels. Your level may change month to month. You are asked to commit to the Activist level 3 out of the 12 months.

Activist–At this level you are agreeing to participate fully in the activities of the month. You will read at least one full length book as well as choosing something from the other media list. You will also complete an action step.

Intern–You agree to either read something from the reading resources (it can be an essay or children’s book) or choose to do something from the other media list. You will complete an action step.

Volunteer– You agree to read at least one of the recommended blog posts, essays or shorter novels. You will complete an action step.

Observer — Need a break? Just follow along with the blog for the month. This month has no commitment level. You can only do a maximum of three months at this level.

A different topic will be covered each month. Short list:

· Domestic Violence & Child Abuse
· Genocide
· Poverty
· Illiteracy and Education
· Modern Day Slavery
· Homelessness & Refugees
· Women’s Rights

CORA Diversity Roll Call: Celebrating the Holidays

December is a busy month. I try not to stress despite how hectic it can get. I love Christmas. I love the holidays and everything I associate with them. If there is a time when I cling to the nostalgic, it's this time of year. For CORA Diversity Roll Call, I asked participants to address one or more of the following:

1) Favorite children holiday books from your childhood
2) Favorite children holiday books your own children love
3) New holiday books you've discovered
4) Recommend holiday books that celebrate Hanukkah, Eid, Kwaanza,Winter Soltice, Tet, Festival of Lights, any holiday celebrated between late November through January.
5) Stuck, tell us what kind of book you’re looking for to give someone
6) Tell us what’s on your own wish list.

There's an ad, I can't remember what it was for, but it was about the strange, seemingly minor things kids remember from their childhoods like having a quirky dinner once or when a parent did something pretty whacky; the ad reminded me of what events are most vivid for me from my childhood. We didn't have a lot of traditions in my family, and we had few regular activities we did as a family. Of the few though, I remember how my parents made a big deal of Christmas. It was magic for us when we were kids. I mean pure magic.

As a parent, I had every intention of creating traditions, doing more family activities, but I am my parents' child. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't do more but there's one new tradition I did create for my children and that was giving them books for Christmas. Every year among toys and clothes there were books.

There is one book I've shared with both my girls who are a decade apart, Elijah's Angel by Michael Rosen that's pretty special. I'm sure if you asked my daughters what books did their mother read to them, this would be one. It's a story about friendship and culture. It's about holidays and sharing. For me and my girls, it was also an introduction to folk art.

I suspect I might love this book more than my girls (I'm going to ask them) because like the kid in the ad, it ties me to a specific time and place with my daughters. It reminds me of something special I shared with them. It reminds me of a time when I felt at ease being mommy and getting something right. We still have the book even though one daughter is grown and another is busy being a teen.

What books are special for you and your family this time of year? If you write a post about it, please drop us a link at Color Online.

Elijah's Angels by Michael Rosen. Illustrator, Aminah Brenda Lynn Robinson. Harcourt Children's Books. 1992

Michael and Elijah are friends, but when Elijah gives Michael one of his special carved angels, Michael doesn’t know what to do. How can he possibly take home a Christmas angel, a forbidden graven image--especially on Chanukah? “A strikingly illustrated story that tenderly bridges the boundaries of age, race, and religion.

Saturday Six Sentences

Time for Saturday Six. At Color Online I mentioned we received a copy Come With Me, a collection of poetry for children by Naomi Shihab Nye.


The poems are whimsical, fun and insightful. I didn't read much poetry as a child. I'm playing catch up. What I have noticed over and over again is how sophisticated and simple children's poetry is, how it appeals to me the adult and the child I imagine I was. I say imagine because I don't know how I would have responded to these words when I was a child but I know the adult me wishes I had had this pleasure then. Read the title poem at Color Online.

Confession Tuesday

It’s confession time and I’ve had a couple of things I’d like to address but both arenas warrant prudence. After all this is public space. Once you put it out there, it’s out there.

Let’s go with the micro-culture I’ve been sequestered in for the last ten weeks. For eight hours a day, I am in classroom with eighteen other people listening to an instructor who must cram our brains with industry jargon and teach us how to successfully navigate multiple screens. We must learn to readily recognize groups by id numbers and keep policy terms straight for multiple products that are amended regularly enough that keeping all this straight is challenging.

And what about our environment and the dynamics that impact this learning? We are fifteen women and three men. We range in age from twenty-two to fifty-two. I suspect some of us have never worked in a corporate environment. For some it seems their interests outside of work consists of shopping, particularly shoe shopping and or waiting to shop. Everyday, two topics dominate: shoes and what’s for lunch and oh, checking boyfriends’ phone messages and Facebook accounts because all men are dogs. If openly chatting isn’t an option (can’t be disruptive an entire lesson), don’t fret, technology is wonderful. Simply rely on an incessant flow of text messages which often leads to missing something said and therefore the texter asks questions she wouldn’t have to ask had she been paying attention but so what, she is convinced, she’s got this. She and crew rush through their work then become bored so they carry on sidebars across the table and the rows two tables on the other side.

Never mind, this particular organization is old school conservative. Never mind we have been told upfront about the corporate culture and what is unacceptable behavior i.e. no texting, no Internet surfing, no reading or writing or any activity outside of handling company business. Tardiness and any other unprofessional behavior are frowned upon. In fact, so many of us were hired because eighteen unfortunate souls were fired for these very offenses.

So on to my confession: I’m an ageist and a snob. I have a low tolerance threshold for banality of their conversations, and I sometimes want to strangle the squealing voice that emanates from a young woman sporting six-inch high spikes more appropriate for shake your thang Thursday than the office (is she serious?). The fact that my senses are bombarded with data eight hours a day is almost insufferable alone but add that I’m denied access to online resources (I love technology too) and individuals who can talk about more than shoes and lunch for the entire work day for makes one cranky, middle-age woman.

When our instructor reassigned seats I was relieved and glad.

Little Lov'n Monday

Little Lov'n Monday is a day we celebrate the work of fellow bloggers. Between now and Wednesday, post a link to an article, contest, interview, poem- anything you think deserves a little lov'n. Leave a link and be entered in LLM Giveaway. Deadline is December 9th. I'll leave this open to readers outside of the US and Canada, but instead of shipping a book, I'll email you a gift card. It's too costly for me to ship beyond Canada.

I'm going to make things a little simpler. Winner can choose any title from the Prize Bucket at Color Online. This week, my links include issues that warrant public discourse so speak up people.

Drop those links & check out these :
Call for Submissions: Feminist reviews at FR
This (Black) American Life at The Bottom of Heaven
Artivist Film Festival at Reel Artsy

The Challenge That Dare Not Speak Its Name!

I am joining another challenge (I’m pitiful I know), the GLBT: The Challenge that Dare Not Speak its Name! I’m hoping a few choice challenges will help me focus in 2010.

The basic idea of this challenge is to read books about GLBT topics and/or by GLBT authors.

The challenge runs year-round, and there will be three levels of participation:
· Lambda Level: Read 4 books.
· Pink Triangle Level: Read 8 books.
· Rainbow Level: Read 12 or more books.
You don't need to choose your books right away, and they can change at any time. Overlaps with other challenges are fine.

Prizes! There will be prizes, both for this main challenge and for various mini-challenges throughout the year. Keep an eye on the blog for details.

I will focus on YA but I have a few adult titles I’d like to read and I will focus on poc and women but not exclusively. My target level is Pink Triangle. Here’s my short list:

A Burst of Light by Audre Lorde
Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde
Some of Us Did Not Die by June Jordan
Ash by Malinda Lo
Magic or Misery by Peter Marino (YA)
The God Box by Alex Sanchez (YA)
Say The Word by Jeanine Garsee (YA)
Hard Love by Ellen Wittlinger (YA)
M+O 4EVR by Tonya Hegamin (YA)
Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson
Go Tell It On The Mountain by James Baldwin
Dramarama by E. Lockhart (YA)

Books I recommend:

Kindred by Octavia E. Butler
Burn by Black Artemis
The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin (memoir)
Luna by Julie Ann Perters (Transgender; boy to girl) YA
Parrotfish by Ellen Wittenger (Transgender; girl to boy) YA
From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun by Jacqueline Woodson YA (Lesbian)
The House You Pass On The Way By Jacqueline Woodson YA (questioning orientation/Lesbian)
Down To The Bone by Mayra Lazara Dole YA (Lesbian)

What do you think? Interested? Have you read any of these?

Saturday Six Sentences

I am following Mr. Maurer's, of Coffee for the Brain, lead. The idea is to talk about what I've read for the week regardless of how many books in six sentences.

This week it's very easy to keep to the limit. I'm only reading one title at the moment, Brown Girl, Brownstones by Paule Marshall, a classic women's lit title for Women Unbound.


I'm very early into the read but from the onset, I knew I was going to enjoy this because I was immediately reminded why I am drawn to Island and African writers: while they have distinctive voices, the common element among these writers is their imagery. Writers like Marshall, Jamaica Kincaid, Merle Collins and Chimamanda Nzogi Adichie create lush, seductive imagery; it renders the full measure of how language can move you. These kinds of reads can't be rushed.

Brown Girl, Brownstones is set in Brooklyn in the late 30s (ever wonder why so many incredible stories take place in Brooklyn). The protagonist, Selina is the daughter of immigrants from Barbados. She is caught between her parents' dreams and struggles and her own desires to be herself and not be shrouded in the memory of the infant son who died.

Confession Tuesday

It’s Tuesday. So what do I confess today? Anyone interested in talking about body image? I’ve been working out with a trainer for a month now. I’m feeling better and I’ve lost a few pounds. Still, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror in passing (no, I don’t like taking in full, honest looks) this morning, I didn’t like what I saw. Now I could complain about hating the extra weight, wrong shape and so on, but when I stopped and thought about it, I remembered I’ve never been happy with my body. Okay, I did feel pretty powerful, sexy and bold when I was bodybuilding but even then, I couldn’t get to my ideal weight.

You all know where this is going. There is no great revelation here, like most women, I suffer from what girls have suffered since before grade school: ideas of perfect images of feminine beauty and the ill-fitting reality of what our bodies really look like.

Despite growing up no-frills, so not the girly girl who liked dressing up and parading around girlfriends and boys alike, I am plagued by a lousy body image. I’m approaching the mid-century mark and deep inside, I still fantasize about having that body that will finally look just right.

Don’t worry despite the decades of criticism both self-inflicted and otherwise I’m not completely neurotic. Not a confession, more like a desperate wish, I’d like stop waiting for that day I’d have that body.

I hope no one feels depressed behind this, because despite the fantasy and the current baggage, I have had some good days. Over the years, I have grown to celebrate the body I have (fantastic time competing as a bodybuilder and teaching aerobics and at night, sporting killer fishnets and leopard print).

I’m an optimist. I’m pretty sure before I hit the grand mid-century mark, I’m going enjoy looking in the mirror for more than a nano-second.

How about you? Do you love your body?